Turning Tables
by Katherine Elaine
Summary: Dalton!Verse - Juliark/Jogan. A songfic based on Adele's Turning Tables. Some smut warning.


Things hadn't been right for a while. Their dinner conversations were no longer long discussions, but one-liners like "could you pass the salt?" or, "just water, thanks". Their nights out together now included a few friends just to make things feel normal. They avoided each other before and after work, waking up early and coming home late. But as actors, it was their job to play the happy couple, even outside of work. So how was it that they had both been able to deny it for so long?

One single name came to Julian's mind: _Logan._

It had been months since he'd looked at Clark and seen blue eyes instead of green, burning emeralds as he stared back; months since he's smelled Clark when they touched, when they showered, when they slept next to each other; months since he'd tasted Clark when they kissed, but it was just so easy for them to pretend that everything was okay…

…To pretend that Julian hadn't screamed Logan's name that night two weeks ago.

He supposed the feelings he'd first realized six years ago had never left; he'd just learned to push thenm to the back of his mind, drowning them out whenever they came back to him. But everything was Logan now, and Logan was still everything.

Naturally, the truth always comes to light, unfortunately not always in the best of ways. For Clark, it was the night he'd come home four hours late - on purpose of course.

_"Oh my God, I can't - ohmygod," Julian panted, his voice barely more than a whisper into the phone. _

_Had Clark heard that right? He pressed an ear to the closed door at the top of the stairs._

_"Yeah, feel that. Feel me pounding my cock into you," Julian growled. On the other end of the line, Logan groaned low, sliding his fingers in and out of his tight hole._

"_Fuck me, Jules," Logan had begged. "Just... fuck." Julian's breathing hitched. From outside the door, it became very apparent to Clark that there was someone else there. He heard Julian's hand speed up as he growled deliciously low._

_And yet when Clark opened the door, he was met with nothing but surprise at the sight of Julian naked on their bed, his hand on his cock, phone pressed to his ear._

_Clark had a good mind to yell into the phone at whoever was on the other line - it didn't matter who. Instead, he walked over to Julian, who stared at him, frozen like a deer in headlights. He tore the phone out of Julian's hand, ending the call without another word._

_"You slut," he spat. "How... Forget it." Clark started to walk away, before turning back to Julian. "No, wait. Don't forget it. Don't forget what a pathetic whore you are." He pulled Julian into the most forceful kiss they'd ever shared, his fingernails digging into Julian's back as he held him there._

_Julian didn't like this, knowing where it was heading, feeling the guilt he still held from his phone call, his phone now ringing on the floor across the room where Clark had thrown it. He tried to get up to get it, but Clark held him down._

_"Now Julian, that's not very obedient of you, is it, honey?"_

_"Clark -" he choked. But he couldn't protest. He needed this. He'd have liked it if it wasn't Clark more, but it didn't matter. He needed it too much to care._

_It wasn't until Clark thrust into him that he realized how badly he really needed it._

_"Yes, Clark, my God, fuck-" _

_"Julian, how are you so tight? We'll have to fix that..."_

_"Just do it, now. Please."_

_"Patience, it'll hurt, princess."_

_Princess? Logan called him princess... "I like it better when it hurts - oh shit. Oh, fuck. Fuck. Shit. Clark, fuck me."_

_"You want me to fuck you like a pathetic whore?" Clark's voice filled his ear huskily as he nipped at the pale column of Julian's throat._

_"Anything, just... please." His voice filled with absolute lust, strained._

_It wasn't long until even Clark was short of breath. "So close, Julian," he managed to gasp. His hips pounded his cock through the tight ring of muscle as he fucked Julian harder than ever, brushing along the sensitive bundle of nerves with more pressure in every stroke. _

_"Clark, I can't - I'm - I-I'm gonna -"_

"_Come for me. Come all over; I need to see you come undone. Come," Clark commanded, letting go himself. He let out a choked moan as his head rolled backwards, his spine arching as he rode out his release._

"_Ohmygodshit," Julian moaned in loudly, a coil of heat surging through his stomach as he reached his climax. "Lo -"_

_Clark pretended he hadn't heard, though both knew very well he had. "Now, Julian."_

_"Fuck, Logan, shit!" he screamed, writhing in pure ecstasy, the guilt in his eyes pouring into the icy blue eyes staring back at him. _

Julian remembered it even now all too clearly. Clark had stormed off afterwards, no sign of shame or guilt or even sadness, really. He looked just as empty as Julian had the day he'd left Dalton for the last time.

He had gone downstairs four hours later, just before 3AM, to check on Clark, who was fast asleep on the couch, draped in a blanket that was falling off of him. Julian picked it up, laying it over his partner gently. He bent to kiss Clark's forehead.

"Thank you," he whispered before heading back upstairs to his own bed.

And now, two weeks later, things still weren't normal. They'd tried to talk about it, but each time, the other didn't feel like ruining their good mood - they were broken beyond repair.

It was that which led up to this very moment, in which Julian finds himself looking Clark directly in the eyes that aren't looking back at him, blue again instead of green.

"I'm leaving, Clark."

Clark looks up from the magazine he's reading. "You're... what?" He couldn't say he was surprised, but he doesn't expected it then.

"I'm leaving," Julian repeats, "and I'm not coming back to you this time."

"Leaving the same way you left _Logan_? Running instead of dealing with your feelings?"

"Clark, there's nothing left for me here with you. It's been like this for long enough." He turns to go upstairs, to pack his belongings, but Clark's voice stops him again.

"It's Logan, isn't it? You still love him."

Julian's face is unreadable as he holds back tears. "Yes."

"All this time?"

"Always." He sighs, admitting defeat. He wipes away a tear with his sleeve.

"Wait. Just... Julian, just one more night. Give me one more night with you, please."

Julian contemplates for a moment, nodding slowly. "I'd like that, I guess." The corner of his mouth twitches upwards, the smile he can't quite manage right now.

They start the night off with a movie and popcorn. It's a movie that neither of them particularly likes, which is really just an excuse to poke fun at the characters, for Clark to see him laugh just one more time. And he does; Julian laughs with meaning again.

_Close enough to start a war_  
><em>All that I have is on the floor<em>  
><em>God only knows what we're fighting for<em>  
><em>All that I say, you always say more<em>

It progresses to a conversation about how things have been going. "Well..." Julian starts, but laughs again, Clark joining in the laughter. They both are well aware of how it's been going.

_I can't keep up with your turning tables_  
><em>Under your thumb I can't breathe<em>

The night ends in a kiss that Julian initiates and Clark deepens. It's soft and slow, and their cheeks are streaming with tears, but the feeling is gone. The emotion isn't attached to it anymore. Their hands find each other's bodies in all the right ways. It finishes upstairs in the same bedroom it started in.

_Under haunted skies I see you_  
><em>Where love is lost your ghost is found<em>  
><em>I braved a hundred storms to leave you<em>  
><em>As hard as you try, no, I will never be knocked down<em>

They make love again that night, and though it has meaning, it's not the same as before. It never is, and they know it won't be. They also know that in the morning, Clark will wake up to a cold, empty bed, which is nothing new to him. He'll walk downstairs, counting the boxes of Julian's things that are stacked up along the wall at the entrance of the house by the front door.

_Next time I'll be braver_  
><em>I'll be my own savior<em>  
><em>When the thunder calls for me<em>  
><em>Next time I'll be braver<em>  
><em>I'll be my own savior<em>  
><em>Standing on my own two feet<em>

Julian will say, "my ride will be here soon."

"I know," Clark will reply. Nothing more will be said or heard, but will always be felt.

_I won't let you close enough to hurt me,_  
><em>No, I won't ask you, you to just desert me<em>  
><em>I can't give you the heart you think you gave me<em>  
><em>It's time to say goodbye to turning tables<em>

But Julian is okay with that. The things we cherish and need have a way of coming back to us in the end, even if it's not in the same way they left us. And for the first time in a long time, Julian smiles, a real smile - because things are going to be okay.


End file.
